| LOCKED. |
[02 Jan 2027|12:54am] |
credit to ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) devster for FO banner.
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| 039. |
[09 May 2008|05:57pm] |
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Life is kicking my ass.
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| 037. |
[04 May 2008|03:13pm] |
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I'm nothing in his life when she's his everything.
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| 032. |
[17 Apr 2008|02:23pm] |
| [ |
music |
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Tired of Being Alone - Al Green |
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I had a dream I was shopping with Melissa. I ended up falling off a ledge that I never knew I was on, but I landed on my feet like a cat does. I kept walking then ended up at a college (because apparently I go to college in my dreams now). At the school there's this elite magazine where I randomly got a chance to write for. For some reason Brenda was there too and she was much more excited about the opprotunity than I was. And apparently we were dorm mates. I walked into our dorm, looked at my lunch card she left on my bed & thought to myself, "I'm so glad I'm in school writing." Then I got a loud knock on my door and woke up.
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| 030. |
[05 Apr 2008|10:25pm] |
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He said that she was going to be okay. I'm going to believe him because I don't know if I believe in anything else at this point.
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| 027. |
[01 Apr 2008|11:40pm] |
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| 025. |
[28 Mar 2008|03:26am] |
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I'm getting tired of people pushing me away.
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| 020. |
[08 Mar 2008|04:01am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 sick |
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music |
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Gravity - Sara Bareilles |
] |
I'm stuck in the worst coming of age story ever.
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| 017. |
[04 Mar 2008|02:34am] |
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music |
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Mood Rings - Relient K |
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Jessica: I fucking hate you.
Me: You don't hate me. You fucking love me.
Jessica: Hah, I know.
Me: Who doesn't love me, besides Bertha?
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| 012. |
[18 Feb 2008|12:58am] |
| [ |
music |
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♥ Asleep - The Smiths |
] |
Life is crazy, and the way things happen is sometimes hard to understand. Sometimes it takes a tragic event to help us realize what's important to us and just how far we'd go for those that we love.
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I feel like a mess of things.
This past year and a half I just cut myself from the social world. It wasn't on purpose, but it wasn't so much a spur of the moment kind of thing either. Somehow I got separated from just about everyone else. I guess I got lost in the shuffle of things.
I wish things went back to the way they were. It didn't seem like it at the time, but they're much better than life now. Or I could be possibly exaggerating the whole thing.
I miss everyone and I honestly truly mean it.
I'm sorry.
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I been listening to 'Asleep' over and over again. It's a bittersweet feeling everytime bringing back different kinds of emotions that I kept tucked away on the back burner of myself.
Growing up sometimes means you grow apart.
Harsh, yet true.
I'll keep with me forever the moments spent together.
Good & bad & most importantly INFINITE.
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I write for no one in particular. I write mostly for myself and my sanity.
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| 011. |
[16 Feb 2008|02:28am] |
Sometimes I feel like I'm outside of myself. It's not so much an outer body experience. It's like I'm watching myself and my life as a movie. One long, drawn out, mundane movie.
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Diary of the Dead = ♥
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| 009. |
[12 Feb 2008|05:19pm] |
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I really do love Town Square & the Apple Store & the MacBook Air. It's awesome.
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| 007. |
[07 Feb 2008|04:21am] |
It's 4something in the morning. This is usually the time I start to fall asleep, but for tonight I just can't.
Every so often I replay things in my head. A lot of the times they come out of nowhere. And almost all the time, I replay things that I never tell people about.
Everything is just scrambled up in my head and I don't know what I'm thinking about anymore. I space out, but it's only for a second.
Blah blah blah... fucking blah blah blah.
Fuck it.
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| 004. |
[24 Jan 2008|02:08am] |
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music |
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Beautiful Diaster - Kelly Clarkson. |
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I didn't grow up to be the person I dreamt of becoming.
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| 003. |
[16 Jan 2008|03:20pm] |
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music |
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Hangover Song - Say Anything. |
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I guess time really does change things.
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| sic. |
[29 Dec 2007|12:46am] |
I wish I can report that as the days go by I'm getting better. Sadly though this is not the truth.
The truth is that some days are better than others, but all the same nothing is good. A dark cloud still looms over my head, constantly raining on my parade.
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| rev. |
[15 Dec 2007|04:33am] |
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music |
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Brilliant Lies - New Years Day |
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Always try to think that all people are good, but know that not everyone is. It's really all about personal judgement. You can't have people tell you what to do with everything in your life.
Then again, it's always hard for me to practice what I preach.
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| brash. |
[08 Dec 2007|04:20am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 contemplative |
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| [ |
music |
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Spores - Say Anything |
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Everyone lies, even to themselves. It's not something we do every second of everyday, but it happens. Like, bullshit happens. Sometimes it's hard to deal with, but in the end you just have to deal. Life is hard and people are harsh. Lie to yourself if that's what it takes to get by. It's not really that serious.
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| hater nation. |
[21 Nov 2007|01:40pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 drained |
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| [ |
music |
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Mary J. Blige |
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I just don't understand why it seems like everyone wants something from me. It's as if people have all these expectations that I don't meet, and instead of upsetting them it upsets me. It just doesn't make sense why people want so much from me when I'm just a girl trying to survive the best way I know how.
I've said it before, but maybe I am just being over dramatic about things as the moment. But sometimes I have to be over dramatic to deal with it. It's so tiring doing the same things everyday and going through the same bullshit day in and day out. It's surprising how long I've gone doing it.
One day I hope I can be the person I really want to be for myself, but for now I guess I'll keep living my life for everyone else to make them happy. Don't ever say I'm selfish.
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